Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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