I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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