is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize