the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
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Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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