I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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