so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
