my being single is dangerous.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
