You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she woke up with a sticky ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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