I never want to see another naked old woman again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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