Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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