who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
