I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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