I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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