I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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