apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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