he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
