He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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