Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.

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  (617): You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable. http://tfl.nu/i02t
  Replies (3) Good night (2912) Bad night (612)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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  (860): she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that? http://tfl.nu/vpzp
  Replies (12) Good night (2562) Bad night (722)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

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  (440): just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy. http://tfl.nu/sv1q
  Replies (15) Good night (976) Bad night (2326)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

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  (402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk
  Replies (23) Good night (954) Bad night (7982)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

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  (714): I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky. http://tfl.nu/5xyb
  Replies (31) Good night (14966) Bad night (1781)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.

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  (910): A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work. http://tfl.nu/czmo
  Replies (7) Good night (3601) Bad night (797)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..

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  (601): Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store.. http://tfl.nu/p81s
  Replies (9) Good night (2368) Bad night (811)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives

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  (616): But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives http://tfl.nu/2jnq
  Replies (7) Good night (1893) Bad night (1348)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.

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  (214): Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more. http://tfl.nu/1w8z
  Replies (18) Good night (5514) Bad night (952)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.

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  (513): I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting. http://tfl.nu/f03u
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (685)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.

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  (708): All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door. http://tfl.nu/n3s0
  Replies (5) Good night (712) Bad night (548)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option

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  (253): My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option http://tfl.nu/xa3f
  Replies (11) Good night (798) Bad night (450)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.

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  (724): I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show. http://tfl.nu/legh
  Replies (5) Good night (527) Bad night (376)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom

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  (604): Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom http://tfl.nu/2vz6
  Replies (0) Good night (223) Bad night (515)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.

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  (423): I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free. http://tfl.nu/3xxx
  Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (204)

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