Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

she looks like luggage that fell from a plane

Fav 5 906 2735
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...

Fav 46 4409 905
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

Fav 17 4962 1344
share tweet
(928): View more from Arizona

Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

Fav 3 1904 1345
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(417): View more from Missouri

How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

Fav 17 1977 2634
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars

Fav 3 2491 923
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Wait. Someome brought slutcake?

Fav 9 2452 936
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.

Fav 5 752 423
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(593): View more from

Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?

Fav 1 113 90
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT