R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
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you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
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i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is