I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
