I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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