i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
