I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize