he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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