That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
