what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
