get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You're like the curious george of whores
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
