I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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