should my penis look like a turkey
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
