I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
