we have officially lost it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
