the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
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guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have fence marks all over my body
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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