And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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