No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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