My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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