im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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