I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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