we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
