Someone shit on the floor
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
