I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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