FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
