We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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