In the future we'll all be gay
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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