so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
