He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
