Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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