You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
