what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
