I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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