Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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