he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I heard Enya coming from steveโs room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
