these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
