you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
