i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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