if only i could text you this smell
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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