highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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