Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
