Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Be still, my beating vagina.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
