i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
