You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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