Acid is not a monday night drug
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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