Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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