Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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