a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
