i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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