so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
